The Public Speaking Bible; a Survival Guide for Standing on Stage by Alexander Marcus

Author:Alexander, Marcus [Alexander, Marcus]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2020-08-21T16:00:00+00:00

Figure 14 avoid all hands to face gestures.

Sexual and flirtatious gestures

Lips, throat, inner wrists, groin (and the chest for women) are all parts of the body that can be exposed, positioned or lifted to express sensuality. There’s always a time and a place for flirting but a speech definitely isn’t the right moment. No matter the subject, do not incorporate flirtatious gestures or try to use sexuality to influence your listeners. No matter how sexually active you are in your personal life, don’t make the mistake of thinking that flirtatiousness will aid your speech; it won’t. If you give obvious flirty gestures, subliminal sexual body language or dress provocatively, your audience may become distracted, stop listening to your message and instead gravitate their attention towards the points of sexual interest. This is the last thing a speaker needs; you want to build and maintain interest in your speech, not fritter it away with distractions.

Mouth touching – any solitary finger stroking, touching or pulling a lip is an age-old signal of invitation. It’s used unconsciously when someone is attracted to a potential partner or used very consciously by individuals looking to parody or stimulate faux interest.

Wrist exposure – the outward rotation of the hand to expose the inner wrist is a subtle indication of attraction.

Exposure of the groin – Drawing attention to your groin, subliminally or with conscious intent, is a sexual come-on. An individual looking for sex will increase the exposure of the groin by standing in a wide stance, or when sitting open their legs wider. If a person is not interested or actively wishes to send clear signals that sex is not an option, they will minimise groin exposure by crossing the legs, keeping the thighs and knees close together or keeping the thighs open but pointed in a different direction from the person seeking their attention. If you watch an interaction between two potential partners meeting for the first time, the interested dominant individual will expose their groin to signal intent. As the flirtation continues and if the submissive individual is interested, they will respond in kind.

Exposure of the groin is a noteworthy issue for speakers as a broad stance is also confident body language. Clearly, there’s some overlap, however, I wouldn’t worry about an audience misinterpreting a wide stance as long as you back it up with strong arm gestures. Do give consideration to seated talks and interviews; a sprawled seated position indicates relaxed confidence but spreading those thighs too far will draw attention away from your words!

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